Bryan (a eulogy)

“Salamat Pare at ingat!” those were his last words when we talked night of All Saints’ Day.

Morning of November 6, 2013 when I received a call from one of my childhood friends delivering the sad news about Bryan’s untimely departure. It was really devastating, I can barely move to where I was standing that moment. Thoughts were flying in and out of my consciousness.

As I entered their peaceful home to visit his wake, his Nanay hugged and cried out loud upon seeing me, and my heart tormented in a sudden. I can’t believe it myself that he was already gone. As his Nanay screamed at his corpse telling him to stand up, and open his eyes cause I was there. Pain struck in my chest when she said that I was one of the last persons he kept on mentioning before he passed away. Tears were falling not only in our eyes but also deeply in our hearts. I can’t utter even a single word. Memories were flashing, and great stories about him were being brought up.

“Sayang, ang bata pa niya.”

“Wala kang masamang masasabi sa kanya.”

“Masyado pang maaga para sa isang mabuting bata.”

“Mabuting kaibigan.”

“Masayahing tao.”

I heard those praises above more than I could imagine. I sat down beside Nanay Diang, and listened to the best stories ever told about him.

“Anak, ni minsan hindi ako tinaasan ng boses niyan, ni minsan hindi niya ako hinayaang mag-alala sa kanya.”

I felt her grief.

“Lagi niya sinasabi na kahit hindi kami ang tunay niyang magulang, e lubos siyang nagpapasalamat at may mga taong tulad namin na nag-alaga sa kanya.”

Yes, you read it right. Bryan was about 5 months old when he was “adopted” by Nanay Diang and Tatay Erning, but they treated him as their own son. And truly, I commend my friend for being so proud and grateful for having parents like them. He told me once, “kahit hindi nila ako kaano-ano, minahal nila ako.” Whenever somebody asked him, “Sino mga magulang mo?” without any doubt he’ll say, “Nanay Diang and Tatay Erning.” He’s caring, loving, sweet and respectful to his parents.

“Hindi na niya sinabi na nahihirapan na siya sa sakit niya – na nasasaktan na pala siya. Kapag tinatanong ko siya, lagi niyang sagot, “Huwag niyo po ako isipin, ayos lang ako, huwag po kayong mag-alala sakin, Nay at Tay.”

I salute you brother, you’re so selfless! He doesn’t like to see them worrying about his condition.

“Noong Sabado (November 2, 2013) napansin ko na humina siya kumain, sinabi ko iyon, pero pilit niyang sinabi na ayos lang siya at huwag namin siyang alalahanin. Biro niya nga, ganoon talaga kapag guwapo.”

Tears were running down as Nanay Diang continued everything. Bryan was a man filled with humor. Nanay Diang was doing the laundry, he sneaked and secretly put coins on her nape, then he’ll say, “Nanay, ang yaman mo naman at ang pawis mo e barya!” then he’ll laugh at the top of his lungs.

“Kumakain kami bago namin kunin iyong bangkay niya, tapos bigla ako nakaramdam na parang may makati sa bandang dibdib ko, nang hinawakan ko, may limang pisong barya. Naligo naman ako at nagpalit ng damit, biniro na naman ako ng kaibigan mo.”

I smiled, then glimpsed at his coffin, and whispered, “kahit kailan talaga.” Reminiscing our times together made me happy and sad. When we were younger, he often sleeps at our place. He’s been my younger brother. And as I realized now, he was my first student! He asked me if I could teach him how to play basketball, computer games, and other stuffs usually done by brothers. He was also the only friend who I entrusted my money, phone, and other personal belongings. I don’t know why, but he never said no in any of my requests, and in return I did the same thing. After high school, we parted ways, notwithstanding, we never lost communication. Every vacation he would stay in front of our house waiting for me to arrive, and with that I even labelled him as my royal guard. Indeed, he’s a friend who keeps you from getting into trouble. We had this tete-a-tete moment last October 11, 2013 which I wrote as a blog entry. He revealed everything about his real identity – the things he found out about himself. Hey, he’s not a superhero, wesen, or something else; he told me about his biological parents and how he discovered the “truth” regarding them.

Then few days before he passed away, he had left me with truly unforgettable memories. As usual, we’re like conjoined twins again, inseparable! He was my companion when I took care of my Dad’s grave. The cemetery was too crowded, you need to step and jump to other graves, hang like apes into mausoleums, and climb over storeys of apartments to reach your destination, come on, it’s a maze! He was feeling weak, I asked him to just rest but he insisted to go forward, I carried him at my back. We were laughing really hard, “Para tayong mga bata.” he uttered. I never thought it would be the last time that I’ll carry him. After our hilarious grave trekking, I invited him to have his lunch at home, and again, he didn’t say no. We enjoyed that day. He asked me if he could borrow 50 pesos, cause he’d go somewhere to meet someone, I handed him 500, and told him to just return the change later.

“Nagastos niya iyong iba, sinabi niya sakin iyon na nahihiya na raw siya sa’yo pero noong sinabi mo raw na ayos lang e hindi na niya makalimutan at paulit-ulit na niyang kwinento sakin.”

It was nothing in my part, as I told earlier; he’s one of my most trusted friends! He was reiterating that I must wait and prepare until he’s well enough to drink and we’ll get drunk! “Hintayin mo sa December pare, gusto ko iyong lasingin mo ko, one on one tayo.” Night of November 1, 2013, I was drinking with my brother and cousins when approached me.

“Iwan mo na lang iyong jersey mo.”

“Marumi pa pare.”

“Kahit na, isusuot ko pa rin yan!”

“o sige, basta ingatan mo.”

“Salamat Pare at ingat.”

“Sinuot niya agad iyong bigay mo, lagi niya pang tinitignan sa salamin kung bagay nga ba sa kanya. At bago siya mawala, isa ka sa lagi niyang tinatanong.”

If you see key! Why did you leave us this way, pare? You turned our world upside down! You unexpectedly made us all mourning! They say I was a great influence in your life, they’re wrong; you were a greater influence in my life! Words truly meant, pare!

Hanggang sa huli, ‘di ka pa rin nakalimot, asahan mo tol, habang buhay kitang babaunin! Hindi kita mamimiss, kasi alam ko, tulad ng dati, lagi kang nasa aking tabi! Alam ng lahat kung gaano ka kabuting tao, kung gaano ka magmahal bilang anak, at gaano ka makisama bilang kaibigan. Hindi ka man namin makakasama sa tagayan, hindi ka naman makakalimutan sa kwentuhan. You left us with lots of amazing memories, tindi mo! Nahihirapan pa ko magkwento ngayon kasi gulat pa rin ako sa lahat ng pangyayari, but time will come, ikaw ang bida at bangka sa usapan!

I’ll tell the world how great son, brother, friend, and person you were! Inar-aro ta ka pre! You’re more than a friend, and a brother! Cheers! Rest in Peace!

I’ll end this simple eulogy with your words.

“Salamat Pare at ingat!”